


Somatoform Disorder

by darknefarious



Series: Hetalia Hospital!AU [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-24
Packaged: 2017-11-12 19:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknefarious/pseuds/darknefarious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So tell me, Dr. Braginski, who are you hiding from?" Alfred gave the platinum haired doctor a mischievous smile. The only time Ivan enters his office without asking was when he's hiding or had some problems. This was interesting…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somatoform Disorder

It was a beautiful day at the hospital. Some patients were complaining about the long line and waiting period, children were crying and parents scolding them, nurses and doctors running along the crowded corridor carrying thick patient charts. Yep, if you worked in the hospital for years, those kinds of things were pretty much normal. 

But of course, it does not always mean everyone was busy. And one of those lucky employees who currently had nothing to do was Dr. Alfred F. Jones MD. The handsome (hey, it was the nurses who said that!), junk food loving (he would never deny it), tactless (… he just say what’s on his mind, a lot of times), surprisingly intelligent doctor of oncology.

Alfred walked towards his office. He had nothing to do as of the moment. His patient had just been wheeled in the operating room and he had no patient appointments. So, the blonde planned do something he wasn’t allowed to do during work… slack off. 

Upon reaching his destination, Alfred fumbled for his key on his white coat when he noticed that the door was unlocked. ‘Weird… I was sure I locked it. Oh well.’ He probably forgot to lock it after all. The blonde shrugged and nonchalantly opened the door.

“Hello, Jones.” The blonde stared at the unexpected visitor currently sitting on a black leather couch at one side of the room.

Dr. Ivan Braginski, MD. Head of Diagnostics, famous not only for his skill as a medical practitioner and (Alfred had to admit) good looks, but also due to his “creepy” behavior (or so that’s what the employees term). And also, he was Russian.

Alfred looked at the sign hanging on the door. ‘Dr. Alfred F. Jones, MD. Head of Oncology’ Well, the room was still his office and Ludwig had not fired him yet.

“Is there something wrong?” the Russian asked.

‘Something wrong he asks,’ Alfred sighed, “Oh nothing dear. I just thought I entered the wrong office.” He answered sweetly. The blonde then closed the door behind him.

“So tell me, Dr. Braginski, who are you hiding from?” Alfred gave the platinum haired doctor a mischievous smile. The only time Ivan enters his office without asking was when he’s hiding or had some problems. This was interesting…

Ivan sighed, “Ah, you know me too well.”

If it was other people who said that Alfred knew Ivan too well, he’ll instantly rant about how mistaken they were. But the words came from the doctor himself… 

The two have known each other for more than five years dating back from their college years. Their relationship… they considered each other as “friends”. And yes, with the quotation marks on the word friend. 

The Russian was always been picky about who he hanged out with and some people found him too odd. Alfred, on the other hand, was always been the tactless, annoying young man, thus earning him a fair share of people who disliked him. So, what did they do? They stick with each other. But hey, despite their differences, they somehow “clicked”, and once again, yes, with the quotation marks on the word clicked. (Besides, a lot of employee thought that Alfred was the only person who can stand the oddness of the Russian… oh how wrong they were.) 

And with those years being “friends”, the two learned so much about each other. Oh well… life worked in mysterious ways.

“So?” Alfred probed, “Tell me who you’re hiding from…”

“My patient…” Ivan answered quietly. 

“Your patient…” Alfred repeated. 

“Yes, Jones… My patient,” 

Alfred burst out laughing. Who could’ve thought? Ivan Braginski was afraid of his patient. Keyword here: afraid! Impossible! But hell yeah, it happened!

Ivan gave him a tight smile, “Kolkolkolkol…”

Alfred immediately knew he had to stop, “Good grief, you don’t have to be mad…” He shook his head, “So, correct me of I’m wrong. This patient of yours… beautiful woman, long hair, wears a dress, seems like an anti-social dangerous woman.” 

Ivan raised a brow.

“Nurses’ talks,” Alfred said. “Hey, you want to eat lunch? I’m hungry. You can tell me about her while we eat.”

“But…”

Alfred gave him his trademark “hero” grin, “I’m here anyway.”

Ivan was not reassured at all. “Very well…”

The two proceeded to went in the hospital cafeteria without a fuss, well aside from female nurses who greeted Dr. Jones with a wink and a flirtatious smile which Alfred gladly returned back. 

“Where’s your patient, anyway?” Ivan asked the blonde as he took a tray and a plate.

“Surgery,” Alfred took two big slices of pizza and placed it on Ivan’s plate. “Possible radical mastectomy… the poor woman, she’s got one boob left now.”

Ivan grabbed a tuna sandwich, “You are very insensitive.” 

The blond shrugged, “For your information, I am a pleasant man in front of my patients.”

“I know.” The two paid for their food and sat on the far corner of the cafeteria.

“So your patient…” Alfred started to eat his pizza. 

“Your food preferences are too unhealthy…” Ivan sighed, “My patient kept on complaining of having acute abdominal pain. But there were no laboratory findings that could support her complaints. Next, she then complained of severe headaches, but still… no abnormal laboratory findings.”

“Hmmm…” Alfred proceeded to eat his second slice of pizza. “Great diagnostician Ivan Braginski, not able to identify the cause of the problem… I will never forget this day.”

Ivan gave him the look once again.

“Again… I was kidding.” Why can’t the Russian take a joke? “So, you were saying, negative diagnostic findings. Well it’s not my forte, but it could be psychological in nature.”

“I thought the same too. I referred her to a more suitable doctor for those kinds of situations. But…”

Alfred wiped his fingers with the table napkin, “But she did not follow and kept on stalking you, saying she’s in pain and in dire need of your help.” He gave Ivan a grin, “You always attract the odd ball.” 

“Ah. So you consider yourself odd. Lovely.” 

The blonde doctor was about to respond when he saw a familiar woman enter the cafeteria. And it seemed like Ivan noticed it as well. Ah, and God probably wanted to watch some drama (or comedy) as well. The woman was already walking towards them. 

“Doctor Braginski… I went in your office, but your secretary said you were out.” She said. 

Alfred cannot help notice the menace on her voice. This was going to be interesting. Maybe he’ll watch with God for a while.

“Ah, Miss -” Whatever Ivan was about to say, he was not able to finish it.

“Call me Natalya.” She immediately said.

“Alright, Miss Natalya… Like I said last meeting, this isn’t my -” Ivan was cut-off once again. 

Ivan’s face… Alfred decided was picture perfect. If he just brought his camera with him, it was the perfect blackmail material.

Natalya frowned at him, “Like I said last time, Doctor Ivan, I. Want. You. To. Cure. Me.” She stepped towards Ivan who instantly stepped back.

‘Oh what drama…’ Alfred thought. Well, it wasn’t what he was expecting. Perhaps because the woman lacked the knife? He wasn’t really that sure. But it was time for the hero to save the dams… (He looked at Ivan) the man in distress.

Alfred stood up in between them, “Hello Ma’am, the name’s Dr. Alfred Jones. A pleasure to meet you.” He said in the sweet voice he always used to charm the nurses. 

But it seemed like this particular woman was immune to it. “A pleasure to meet you to, but why are you here?” He could feel the menace once again.

“Ah, you see, we are currently taking our break.” 

“Aren’t you supposed to be with your patient instead of slacking off taking a break?”

‘This woman is a spawn of the underworld.’ And the great Doctor Ivan was busy being silent behind his back. 

But God seemed to have a plan to end these kinds of things. Alfred’s cell phone rang. Without moving from his spot, he read the message silently. He looked at Natalya, “Ah, I’m really sorry, but we have to go. You know… doctor stuff. Blood splattering everywhere, projectile vomiting…” He then grabbed the Russian’s sleeve and hurriedly darted away, leaving the woman somewhat confused and startled.

Ivan looked at him for a while, “Something happened to your patient?” 

Alfred shook his head, “Nah, she’s fine. The surgery had just ended and my patient is currently in the recovery room, to be wheeled back to her room later.” He gave the Russian a grin, “I just saved you. I haven’t heard my thanks yet.”

Ivan gave him a smile, “Though, your excuse was very unprofessional for your part and was obviously a fake and the way you introduced yourself to her was very -”

“You know what… never mind. But you know that woman was scary.”

“Indeed she is.”

**Author's Note:**

> To think I have some guts to actually post this! This is unbeta'd so, grammar mistakes here and there... Oh! And inspired by Dr.House, MD!!
> 
> I am really sorry. And I believe there was an insensitive part in the story, ugh, please forgive me, but don't worry, I am fully aware of the risks and the possibilities of having disturbed body image with that kind of operations.
> 
> Terms:
> 
> Somatoform Disorder: Diagnosis given to individuals who present with symptoms suggesting a physical disorder without demonstrable organic findings to explain the symptom.  
> Oncologist: Person who specializes in the treatment of cancer.  
> Radical Mastectomy: A surgical procedure wherein the breast and the underlying chest muscles are removed as a treatment for breast cancer.


End file.
